I’ve been struggling with my standards and expectations about productivity. What does a good work day look like? How should I feel? What does a good day of being a friend, wife, partner, healer, entrepreneur, mother, daughter, author, creative, reader, art lover, hungry person mean?
The past weeks/months it’s meant letting go of how I worked for it. It means getting quiet and experiencing fear and loss. It means changing my perceptions of the way things have always been done to the way things will be done by me.
What if I own being a trail blazer? I own seeing the world differently than most. I own that I have my own sense of individualism, and I held onto the belief I was alone in this journey. That dancing to my own beat meant isolation. That the safest place for me to return to was deep inside my own thoughts and feelings.
But what if I turn around? Are there people with me? Perhaps the ideas and concepts I held onto for self preservation held me back? Or is it just, that I’ve reached a point in my life, where all my experiences are coloring the world a new dimension and shifting my emotional truth?
What if I admit the “right way” doesn’t feel good. What if I think it’s tainted with liars and imposters? What if my way, is the option for other people and all this work I’m doing makes it easier for another person to exist and create? I’m going to sit in that for a while.