“History is written by the victors” is a famous quote often attributed to Winston Churchill, although plenty of reports and articles challenge that. And isn’t this fact a fabulous allegory for your life’s story, too?According to Merriam-Webster, Allegory is a noun al·le·go·ry ˈa-lə-ˌgȯr-ē plural allegories
Synonyms of allegory
1: the expression by means of symbolic fictional figures and actions of truths or generalizations about human existence
a writer known for his use of allegory
also: an instance (as in a story or painting) of such expression
The poem is an allegory of love and jealousy.
This is why I love using stories as a healing tool to help people like you emotionally and spiritually revise the stories you use to define yourself.
For example, (I’ll use personal healing stories here to maintain client privacy) I love sharing the story of my people-pleasing self. This story realistically depicts my fear of hurting people if I was honest. I would go out of my way to make others comfortable, even when I was perpetually anxious, had a bad gut, and anticipated what others needed from me instead of being honest.
Once upon a time, I worked at spelling television on the first season (maybe even 2) of 7th Heaven. One co-worker used to bring me fancy coffee. He knew that as a Production Coordinator, I rarely made it out of the production office, and as a kind gesture, he’d bring me coffee and treats from the location.
I enjoyed the visits and the gestures. However, I didn’t like the coffee. I am trying to remember what kind it was, but let’s say it was a macchiato. I prefer coffee strong with cream and sugar. So here I am with an expensive cup of coffee, and I didn’t want it or like it. I knew this person was being kind; all it did was make me uncomfortable. My anxiety, aka my story, about my worth included spinning about these questions:
- Would they notice I never drank it?
- Should I give them money for the coffee?
- Am I ungrateful?
- Was I rude?
- What was wrong with me?
- What do they want from me in return?
- How can I do something nice for them in return?
I became paralyzed by my fears of hurting their feelings if I didn’t accept it and drink it. Since I acted like I wanted it, the person continued bringing me this coffee.
I spent nine months thinking about how I could tell the person, “I don’t want this coffee. Please stop bringing it to me.”
I practiced what to say during my commute. I sweat, thinking about how mean and selfish I was, until one day, I finally just told the person, “Hey, you know what? I just like my coffee plain with cream and sugar.”
My hands and armpits were sweaty. My heart pounded in my chest. I may have had a dramatic roll of sweat coming from my brow. I was so afraid of what would happen next.
Do you know what happened?
They said, “Okay.”
My not wanting coffee didn’t matter. Their story and mine were different.
See what I mean about the story?
My fear of hurting the other person was all make-believe. It wasn’t real because what I said didn’t hurt.
Anxiety had me conjure all sorts of emotional demons and triggers. It played out hundreds of scenarios in which I was terrible, and fear told me to hold my tongue. Fear is an asshole.
This is a simple story about coffee. If you read my book, you’ll know I handled plenty of trauma, loss, and grief. Each of those stories required healing.
Ask yourself:
Did a traumatic experience change the trajectory of your story?
Has someone else’s needs, wants, and opinions hold you back?
Do you change your behavior to please others?
Are you conditioned to allow your family, friends, boss, and co-workers to write your story?
One story I see repeated with various people is where clients recreate family trauma in work environments. Read that again… it’s a sneaky story…unresolved (family) trauma is played out at work.
If your self-esteem and self-worth were not fostered in your home, I know there are work dynamics that poke that painful button.
It’s time to heal the old stories and revise the ones you’re living. Intuitive energy healing can help you do that.
Start Your Healing Journey with Me
I help clients create, maintain boundaries, healthy relationships, and self-care.
