What’s the formula for happiness?
I wish there was a simple quadradic equation for happiness—one that I could write out for you, and from the moment you read it, your life will be happy, easy, and full of love.
Marketing experts have five pillars they teach to guarantee success.
Business coaches will tell you to suss out your niche and core values and how to sell them online via social media, and you will get what you want.
Gary V will yell at you to be the 3% of people who do the work, and you’ll earn six figures.
In the realm of spiritual growth and exploration, I can copy and paste any of these formulas, sell them to you in a pretty package, and promise you a fulfilling life, and it would probably work.
Are you sure you want to be happy?
A RECENT STUDY SHOWS THAT YOUNG PEOPLE ARE THE MOST UNHAPPY IN THE UNITED STATES.
Why is that? You have the world at your fingertips, social justice in your pocket, and a myriad of labels plastered across you, proving your worth and goodness.
Labeling and defining your characteristics is a one-dimensional diagram of who you are. It’s a trauma response. And honestly, I’m tired of hearing people scream about their trauma online. Okay, I hear you; you got hurt, and???? What are you going to do about it? Knowing your identity doesn’t mean understanding it, growing emotionally, developing spiritually, or moving past a past that you outgrew.
I’m a firm believer that life is about growth and change. The only way to succeed is to feel your feelings and let go of the shit that doesn’t serve you. Stop relying on a cause to bring you happiness and ask yourself, what do I think? Are you interested or curious to learn about things you disagree with? Are you willing to let go of being RIGHT? in order to be happy?
Where is the space for growth and change if your ideas are so rigid? Do you really want to be stuck in one place your whole life?
I often explain this rigidity to clients looking for better connections and love in their lives by asking them if they like the same toys they played with at four and eight years old and if they want to do the same things at eight that they did at sixteen. It’s a simplified way of demonstrating how evolution is part of life. And I’m here for people who are curious about exploring their personal growth.
There is more to maturity than screaming about injustice and identifying yourself with labels, and I hope you learn that about yourself.
The simple formula for happiness:
• Get out in the world, speak with, explore places, and try getting out of our bubble. You’d be surprised to find out the world is much less terrible than your phone tells you once you venture into it. See the beauty in nature, meet new people, and explore past your comfort zone.
• Turn off social media and unplug from your phone one hour before bed. Disconnecting from the negativity, overstimulation, and overwhelming amount of information on social media and the internet doesn’t allow your mind or soul to process and detach from anxiety, the noise of the world or get in touch with yourself.
• Get an alarm clock. Stop charging your phone next to your bed. The frequency from your phone and the tethers it has to your nervous system don’t need overnight reinforcement. When you disconnect from your phone one hour before you go to sleep, charge it in the kitchen or your living room. Break the bad habit of checking social media and emails when you first wake up and right before sleep. I promise you’ll feel better.
• Make art. Paint, learn a musical instrument, sew, croquet, cook, collage, blow glass, garden, or just make something more beautiful for the fun of it. Don’t worry if you’re not good enough, and don’t start a side hustle. Art, craft, gardening, and any hobby enrich your life.
• Move your body. Stagnation is the state of not moving or flowing. Nothing says stuck better than stagnation. Nothing helps your mind, body, or soul like movement. Simple ways to move: walk, bike, jog, skip, stretch, try yoga, dance, golf, play tennis, try pickleball, shoot hoops, find a trail, walk between shops, try tap dancing, start each day by raising your hands above your head and take a deep breath in and exhale as you move your hands down. Do this three times just after you brush your teeth. Movement will give you energy and make you feel better.
• Hydrate. Drink water. Flush that body of yours.
• Eat good food. Add one fresh element to your diet. Give your body nutrition.
• Meditate or Pray. Connect to your spirit and the highest vibrations of love, support, and light available to you. Don’t forget you are more than what you see in the mirror.
• Make plans with friends or family. Get out of your head and step into your life. Connect with people face-to-face. Share a hobby with those friends. Walk with them, volunteer. Enjoy a nice meal and chat.
• Journal. Go old school and get yourself a blank journal and write about your day and your dreams. Scribble a doodle, write a short story, or write about your hopes and dreams. Journaling is a great way to go from dissociative to connected to your emotions and truths.
• Do something. Don’t get stuck in the pattern of overthinking. Make a choice and follow through. Big changes start with small decisions.
• End the day by whispering, “I love you,” to yourself. Try something radical: Instead of picking yourself apart, tell yourself, “I love you,” and see how it feels to receive the love you often give to others.
If you want help with any of the formula, I’m here for you.
Start Your Healing Journey with Me
I help clients create, maintain boundaries, healthy relationships, and self-care.
