Click the link to listen to my live podcast with Thrive In Motherhood’s host Irene McKenna: Episode 26 – Carving Your Own Path with Holly Raychelle Hughes
I didn’t know who Holly Raychelle Hughes was. I didn’t even know the topic of the episode. I just settled in to listen & write. I had no idea what a treat I was in for. Listening to Irene and Holly, author & intuitive healer (bio below) talk about life, happiness & motherhood was such an unexpected delight. One of the most beautiful things in Holly’s wisdom is that it’s not some big, grandiose thing. But more a calm confidence & surety in the way of things. It was beautifully refreshing and exactly right at exactly the right time. Enjoy!
It's about defining yourself on your own terms.
Most of us don’t realize that we get to create our own rules. We are so conditioned to the rules of society & of our family that we conform ourselves to fit within these borders, without ever taking a step back to ask “Is this what I want? Is this working for ME? For US?” It takes a bit of growing up to unlearn some of this and really start to carve our own path, which is the only path that leads to true happiness.
A boundary is the only way to have happiness and self-care is never selfish.
One. Hundred. Percent.
But, damn, learning what our boundaries are & holding them is no easy task. Same with figuring out how to take really good care of yourself (which boundaries is absolutely a part of). There will be a learning curve. It’s been a big one for me. I started to “do” my self-care before I believed in it fully. A fake-it-till-I-made-it kind of a thing. It was messy. I spent a lot of money. And for a long time, it didn’t really fill me up. I got discouraged often. But as I began to “carve my path” as Holly says, I got better & better at figuring out what does fill me up. And I’m really beginning to understand how to listen to myself & my body as to what I need in the moment. I’m beginning to reap the rewards of all my efforts. And so is my family. Halle-freaking-lujah.
You have to be brave enough to listen to all those feelings and thoughts inside you.
How else will you know what you need? And I would most definitely agree that it takes bravery. Most of us have been conditioned to not feel, so it can be terrifying. If that resonates with you, I feeeeel you. It has been my mission since becoming a mother to get back to feeling my feelings because I know that I will never know true happiness if I don’t allow myself to feel the full spectrum of emotions. And I want to model this for my children. I want to demonstrate what it looks like to live as a whole human being. Not only that, but I want to feel like a whole human.
Happiness is an option.
One of my favorite points that Holly makes is that “happiness doesn’t have to be huge to be genuine.” It can be so easy to get caught up in all the things that we think are supposed to make us happy. The big stuff. I have wasted years missing all the day-to-day goodness because of this. On my learning curving of life, this understanding has continued to hit me like a wrecking ball, leading to deep regret. But it has beautifully transformed into creating a slow, easy life filled with small happy’s all over the place. When I can accept that happiness is an option right here, right now, it changes everything.
My cup of coffee. The fireplace. My beautiful children sleeping peacefully. Feels absolutely divine and I’m soaking it up.
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I help clients create, maintain boundaries, healthy relationships, and self-care.